Outlook

I've been feeling a bit off-balance for a while now, and until this point, I've been unable to put a finger on why exactly that is. However, I think I now know: it's a bit of everything. All the little irrelevant negative things in my life swept up in a tidal wave making its way towards me at a pace I am unsure of. The only thing is, even typing this, I feel ungrateful. I have so many things in my life to be thankful for, and yet, I choose to complain. Hopefully you don't think I'm ungrateful.

Lately, I've been friends with a big group of people in the year above, and that's what I want to continue doing; I'm much happier with these people. The only problem is that they're in the year above, and so, I am left during lesson times with a dwindling amount of people to converse with. In no way am I blaming this on them, because it really isn't their fault, nor is it anybody's. I think it's just a bit of a downer for me, and one that cannot be helped. 

Another is that, quite lately, I've been really regretting things I've done (or said) only hours before. What I did will keep playing back in my head, and the looks on everyone's faces will be amplified in horror or disappointment, which is my brain's attempt of making me feel guilty. But why does my brain want to make me feel guilty? Is that myself telling me to feel guilty, or the inner workings of my brain, those of the unconscious, telling me to? The whole point is that I can't figure out why this has been happening more than usual lately, and so yet again, it cannot be helped. 

Maybe I'll stop boring you with my problems now, and move onto something a bit more positive (kind of). Depends on how you look at it. I figured out why the hell my vision is all dodgy! Let me explain:

Okay, so your vision has a blind spot. You know when you see the moon in the sky on a night? It's the size of 17 moons from the distance you see them at.
Usually we don't see this blind spot because your eyes use peripheral vision and merge their two images together. Your eyes are right next to each other, so the image is merged pretty easily.
But I I had an operation on my right eye because I used to be cross-eyed, and that operation went wrong since they cut too many muscles in my eye, in an attempt to straighten my vision out, so now it goes up and to the right instead. Well, there we have it.
My eye goes up into that corner and then my brain tries to merge the two images together because of my peripheral vision, but all it does it merge two completely different images together - usually one of what I'm supposed to be focusing on, and another towards the ceiling.
And I only figured that out because Incognito, the book I am currently reading, was discussing peripheral vision.

In fact, I've probably bored you even further now, but too bad, since I was pretty proud of my own discovery. Anything else I can discuss with you? I don't think so. Not in this blog post anyway.. so farewell, my friends!